I find myself haunted by the things I need to decide on. I'm not talking about the big decisions like to stay or go and how but the little every day decisions. Like, do I spend the money on milk for the kids or hang on to it because I know my husband will want to eat out with his coworker? Or he's yelling at one of the kids and making the situation worse. Do I interfere with his parental authority or so I let him verbally harass and verbally abuse the kids? It seems simple when I write it down here but in the midst of everything, I doubt myself. I second guess and then try to figure out all the angles and consequences. It doesn't help and I wind up feeling like no matter what I do, I failed.
Now I have to make a big decision and I'm paralyzed. I wish that a miracle would happen and I wouldn't have to make it. Terribly unrealistic but I still wish.
Noly
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